A to Z 26 ZoSan drabbles
by The Feminist
Summary: Exactly what it says. Currently up A to I [9:Italian]
1. Alternate Realities

**A/N:** Well, I needed to write ZoSan. XD It's just so funny. Anyway ... yeah.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own One Piece. Me wishes me did, though.

Usopp was babbling to Chopper about one of his new theories: alternate realities.

"And, Chopper, I, the great Usopp-sama, will kill all the monsters in the world!" he proclaimed.

"Wow! Really?"

"Yosh! And Zoro and Sanji would kiss …" Usopp kept on blathering about all the possibilities.

From behind the closet door, Zoro looked at Sanji.

"Hey, ero-cook, would you like to awaken him to the real world?" he whispered quietly.

Sanji returned a quiet smile. "If you're up for it, marimo."

Zoro pushed the door open quietly, not to disturb Usopp and Chopper, then started to French Sanji.

Chopper's eyes were wide. "Look, Usopp, we're in an alternate reality!"


	2. Brute Force

**Disclaimer:** I do not own One Piece. Me wishes me did, though.

Zoro was one for brute force. He never liked doing things subtly. So when he wiped up for Sanji, he never realised the cook's subtle way of hinting things.

One day he burst out, "What are you trying to tell me, asshole? Just tell me already!"

The cook smiled, and moved towards him. Zoro was unnerved, but when a pair of soft and succulent lips planted themselves on top of his, he suddenly understood. Maybe brute force wasn't the best way to do things, after all.


	3. Creative Passion

**Disclaimer:** I do not own One Piece. Me wishes me did, though.

Zoro was never fond of Sanji. Ever he had met him briefly on the Baratie, he had despised the cook. He knew why, though. It might have been his smooth talking, his way with the ladies, his ability with his legs. But, no, it was neither of these. What he really hated about Sanji was his _creativity_.

Sure, Sanji could make up a dish faster than you could say, 'Grand Line'. But that wasn't it. He just had a closed mind. Say he was going out with Nami. Not saying he would. Sanji would just sulk in his room for not being able to win Nami over. And there was a problem with his cooking too.

Imagine not using your hands for fighting. That was like suicide for Zoro, because his fighting style was centred on his calloused hands (and his mouth and running in the wrong direction), while Sanji's hands stayed prissy just because he didn't want to fight with him.

It was just pathetic.

So when Zoro went up to Sanji that night and suggested something crude, he was surprised when Sanji agreed.

The two had a fun time that night.


	4. Drunken Fools

**A/N:** Thank you to the two reviewers! XD I love ya! This piece is also vague San/Na.

To bishieluv: ... XD Get your mind out of the gutter!

Renegade Woozel: Interesting idea. Might think about that.

**Disclaimer:** -sigh- Misa no own One Piece.

Zoro slumped on the floor, mystified. He _knew_ he was drunk yesterday, but fucking Sanji? That couldn't have been true.

-Flashback-

_Zoro rolled over, finally awake, to see someone else in his bed. Blonde hair. Curly eyebrow. Irritating face. Guess who?_

_"Kuso. What the fuck happened here?"_

_A hand stretched out to grab his own, and pulled him into the body opposite him. The mouth embraced his own in a passionate kiss, which Zoro tried to free himself from repeatedly._

_A glimmer of light caught his eye. The swordsman's eyes followed the path, to see a silver band with an emerald mounted on top. On Sanji's hand._

-End Flashback-

From behind the door, Nami giggled silently.

'I always knew this would work,' she thought to herself as she turned away from the corner.


	5. Elusive

**Disclaimer:** Misa no own One Piece.

That fragrance that passed his nose just as he went to sleep, that caring caress on the side of his face when he was just pretending to. He could never figure it out.

Every night, as he lay on his hammock and his mind drifted off into perverted fantasies, there was always that _one_ smell. It was a sweaty, filled of perspiration, kind of scent.

Every night, he would lay there, wait for the soft touch on his cheek, and drift off knowing someone was there watching him fondly.

Every night, he cracked an eyelid open, and his worries were all gone, as he went to sleep knowing Zoro was watching over him.


	6. Five Hours

**A/N:** -claps- w00t! We've already reached over 1000 hits! Let's see if we can get some reviews with these! -puppy eyes-

**Disclaimer:** I don't own One Piece. There.

Five hours. That was the longest Zoro and Sanji had ever gone without fighting. About who was smartest, about who was stronger, about who was sexiest.

But at this time, it was about who was on top.

"Stupid ero-cook. Just give up already!"

"Baka swordsman, fucking hell, I'm not the girl!"

"Well, I don't fucking look like one!"

Sanji was about to speak, as a pair of warm lips touched his. His shout was forgotten as the two screwed into the night.

The next morning, as Sanji got up to start breakfast, he checked the time.

"Five hours and fifty-one seconds," he said, shaking his head. "That's got to be a record."


	7. Grave Danger

**A/N:** Hee hee ... Nami's awesome. XD

**Disclaimer:** Don't own OP.

Zoro lay on his couch, looking upwards at the wood beams. He sighed gratefully. He had gone through grave danger and emerged alive. Rubbing his temples, he thought of various things. Kuina, Sanji, Sanji, and did I mention Sanji?

Why, Goddammit, why must I be attracted to that ero-cook? he berated himself.

"Why do I have do like him?" he asked himself.

"Who do you like, Zoro?" Nami asked him, sugar dripping from her every word. Damn that wench, Zoro thought.

Maybe he was going to be in even graver danger.


	8. Holding Him Close

**A/N:** Warning: Character Death. Just thought you needed to know. XD

**Disclaimer:** ONE PIECE IS EIICHIRO ODA'S. GOT IT?

It just couldn't be real. It just couldn't.

As Sanji held the lifeless body of Zoro, he couldn't believe that the penultimate swordsman in the world was … dead. Felled by a mere gunshot that had taken him by surprise.

Tears fell down the cook's face. He drew the First Mate's body even closer, and planted a last, loving kiss, which seemed to last for all eternity. And, with a quiet sob, he gently placed Zoro's body down, and stood up. He didn't care about the blood staining his precious suits. He just cared about the soul that had just departed the world of the living.

"Rest in peace, Roronoa Zoro."


	9. Italian

**A/N:** This is a bit OOC for Zoro, but Italian was the only 'I' thing I could think of. And of course, then I realised about I Love You. -sighs- Baka. -hits self on head-

**Disclaimer:** If One Piece was mine, guess who would be snogging.

"Italian? What!" Zoro yelled.

"It's for my Nami-san and Robin-chan, you baka swordsman!" Sanji shouted right back.

"Who could love that wench?"

"I do!" Sanji screamed passionately, defending his Nami.

At that, Zoro stopped abruptly, and looked at his shoes. His face downcast, he walked to the mast where he promptly went to sleep.

Sanji cocked an eyebrow. Why was Zoro acting like this? he wondered. Walking over to were the First Mate was slumbering peacefully, Sanji spotted a few wet spots on his dark green pants.

Zoro was murmuring in his sleep. Bending down to hear the swordsman, he could pick up three distinct words. I, love, and Sanji. Sanji grinned, as he planted a chaste kiss on the marimo's lips, before walking away.


End file.
